Why is it that when we meet someone who we feel we have an awesome connection with that we end up putting up with shit that will one day make us hate the ground this very person walks on. Some people would call this love or lust, some say this is “the honeymoon” stage of the relationship. This is like in the cartoons when you see little hearts floating out of this love struck suckers eyes. The things you found oh so cute and giggled over will one day be the death of you. Really though what in the fuck are we thinking. Somehow the seesaw of love always gets one person worse than the other also. Doesn’t it always end up that one person tries so much harder than the other person. Somehow you just deal with it though. Maybe you think fuck I am going to be the superhero that changes this person. I am going to make history here and single handedly be the only success story in getting this person to change. Seriously I cannot warn you enough. I have seen the other side of this event. I have seen the end of this movie. I even heard the hidden track on the record. If this person is not giving what you are giving it is not worth your time. Move on. Say your goodbyes and jump off the side of that ship and float all the way home. Trust me you’ll be safer with the whales and the sharks. See if you try and stick it out you are only in for a disaster as you are going to become baffled as to why the distance of a football field just turned into a mini marathon through the city. But during this time you are also going to cling on like a cancer and continue to become more and more attached to this person and its just going to be that much harder to get rid of it when you decide that this disease has turned deadly. Look at people who are in prison. Most of them are in for the same crime they committed over and over and over again. The arsonist keeps burning the shit out of things. The same dude keeps robbing the local indian guy at the smoke shop and the murderer keeps on killing innocent people and sometimes bad people who are in gangs and whatnot. See in the same sense here the cheater always cheats. The heartless remain without hearts and the ones who will break yours are just waiting to cross your name off of a list and move on to the next warm body that they are going to purr next to at night like a cute little innocent kitty cat. Thats until one day the claws come out, the cat goes rabid and slap chops your face and you are forced to put the thing down faster than old yeller. Take a look at your lives. Does this person make you happy or is it just nice to have someone to come home to. Did you just get comfortable in a bad situation or is this person really that fucking great in bed. Examine. Diagnose. Cure. Take two and call me in the morning. 

So all over the place you hear people with all these resolutions for the new year. Maybe the junkie is going to consume less junk, the overweight is going to consume less junk, the kids are going to watch less junk. This year people are going to work out more, love more, fuck more, eat better, work out better, fuck better. This is the year they will quit smoking or at least cut down to a pack a day. This is the year they are gonna log onto monster.com and not click on an ad but on a real job. This is the year everything changes. Thats all great written as one of your first 23 posts of the new year but after two weeks in did any of this really stand? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that most of those resolutions have been washed down the drain will the old milk that someone left in the sink. See now whats weird is I came into this year with no resolutions. I figured why challenge something thats already working. But somewhere along the lines in these past few weeks I have been hit with a resolution that I wasn’t even aiming for. Get ready for it. This is going to sound like a total goof but its 100% official business here. Somehow since the new year I have not been drunk or even remotely close to being drunk. See and the strange part is that I haven’t even really wanted to drink and that is what is boggling the fuck out of my brain. This is coming from a brain who used to be like pour another beer, drink more scotch and continue to do so until you are slurring and stumbling. Maybe its waking up the next day feeling like shit from overdoing it as if I could handle the amount of booze that a 500 pound man could. Maybe its the reflection the next morning on the countless oh fucks I really did that/said that? Maybe I’m just getting old and its just getting old too. Regardless I can’t say for sure how long this will last or how long it won’t. Either way I have realized that with or without alcohol I still act the same in a public situation. Thank god for not needing booze to go on a rant in front of a room full of drunkards. Cheers! I raise this Coca-Cola to you and your resolutions.

So I spent the new year in a new city. It’s one of many cities I’ve been to in the past year of my personal manifest of places to explore. This year I plan on finishing the rest of the states and parts of Canada. This time around I was welcomed to fabulous Las Vegas. Isn’t it some weird fight club like rule to not speak of your time in Vegas. I don’t want to anger the gods of Vegas so I won’t get into the meat and potatoes of the trip but I will touch on a small side of gravy. So while I was there I managed to have a serious conversation one night while I was out. This conversation took place with a female who was around my age. She had just moved to Vegas a few years earlier from southern California. Now this girl had been on the hunt for the right dude for quite some time now and was wondering what was so wrong with her that she wasn’t having any luck in that department. She went on to say how she only met dudes who were in town for a few days and who only really wanted to hook up and then run for the exits and go home. She was trying to figure out why she wasn’t able to find prince charming out there who was going to sweep her off her feet like they do in the movies. Now I sat there for a minute and had to wonder if this chick was serious. I looked at her one more time before I opened my mouth and gave her another five to ten seconds to smirk or give some sign that she was just fucking with me. Well turns out she was more stumped than a colorblind trying to find waldo on the most difficult of puzzles. So I leveled with her as best I could. See she lives in Vegas what does she expect from these fist pumping jersey shore wannabes who fly in just hoping to leave with the newest form of std. I explained to her that she lived in a place where people are always going to be coming and going and really what more did she expect from a place nicknamed “sin city” surely this wasn’t the type of place to raise your kids. Then I touched on the locals who all seemed to be strung out on meth and had as many teeth as a jack o lantern. Another dead end road. This was a lose lose city if you were hoping to find those butterflies and rapid heartbeat. The only thing that was going to make your heart beat any faster was going to be the cocaine that you scored from the hooker at the hard rock. In the end I could tell she really was a lost cause when she was trying to wiggle dunk my purple bull dog cheeks and I was only in town for a week. Either way I had to shut her down faster than a kegger filled with under aged drinkers cause like I said about the locals that live there year round they got as many teeth a veteran hockey player. 

You ever have people around you who act as though they went through nine months of pregnancy with you and feel the need to act as mom number three, four and five. It could be your so called best friend or lover, or maybe just some acquaintance you see once in a while that smiles at you with that shit eating grin. You stay up too late. These people tell you how you should be living your life. They insist on certain beliefs and ideas and try to incorporate them into your life. You drink too much. They frown upon the things you do even if these are things you enjoy. These Debbie Downers are so miserable in their own skin that they want to imprison you in their crumbling little world. Don’t do drugs. These are the head shakers, the shit talkers, and the back stabbers. Smoking Kills. These are the people who live life by the standard and never really ride that train to next stop danger and destruction. Pornography is filth.  It isn’t even like these people truly care about you or what you do its just that they can’t really stand to see anyone else enjoy life as a whole. Do the speed limit. They are the people who live off the unsubstantiated rumors that are spun at the mill. Did you hear he fucked her?  See life happens in the blink of an eye. You could walk out of your house tomorrow morning pick up the morning paper and drop dead on your front lawn. Now if that were to happen where did all these so called rules and regulations get you. Gambling is bad. Absolutely nowhere. It got you neatly tucked in a cheaply made wooden box in a jcpenny suit. Regardless of any of the choices you made prior to that moment your time was up. I’m just so tired of all the judges and jury out there waiting to sentence you to a life without any fun. Watching you like vultures in the sky waiting to swoop down and pick at your bones. Don’t eat meat. Im sorry but if you know someone like this in your life like this they are about as real as the easter bunny. If people really care about you they should accept you for who you are and what you choose to do. Don’t fuck her. They should support you in all of your choices and not tip their head in shame when you get too drunk and make a total ass out of yourself. He made out with that bitch? See life goes on and why worry about such stupid little bullshit things like the stupid shit you said while being wasted or what they will think of you if you decide to go that route. I say fuck them all. Do you. Live your life the way you want to without any shame. Without anyone holding you back from living each day the way you want to live it. Don’t let anyone manipulate your life like a puppet on a string. See the great thing about this place is there are people everywhere. She’s such a skank! Don’t let the fuckers bring you down. One day you’ll look back while reading the paper on your front porch in some old rickety rocking chair long after you have a family and have settled down a bit and you’ll giggle to yourself about the time you got so high you thought your head was going to fly right off your shoulders or the time you got so drunk you made a complete fool out of yourself saying the stupidest shit known to man. So smoke that last cigarette, kiss the girl and drink yourself dry. Fuck reputation and what anyone thinks. Fuck the rules. Fuck the opinions. Fuck the judging. But before you fuck it all, go fuck yourself.